Grillless

Well well, I’m back after a couple of Earth disasters. My heart goes out to Burma and China, stay strong!

So what has me crawling out of my proverbial cave, this time?

An incident that’s close to home.

I was at the lcbo (that’s the booze store to you U.S. based citizens) picking up some… well, beer (Boris and St. Peter’s, if you must know), and I was in the line to pay. Being Friday night after work it was busy, so as us Canadians are apt to do, I line up, silently and politely, waiting to pay.

Rewind that a little. When I arrived, there was a cute girl (like who else?) giving free samples of Bavaria. Smooth beer, I said cheers soon after she gave me the mandatory shpiel and I went bottoms up. She was a clever one, she identified me as the guy to bring other people over to her, and, truthfully, I recognized this too. Sometimes it can even be lonely for cute girls giving away free beer. So after taking the obligatory sample gulp, I thanked her and went on my now merrier way.

Fast forward to the line up.

Preamble.

After having worked at a grocery store I am fairly adept at picking the fastest line at the front.

Back to the story.

This time I seemed to have stymied myself as I ended up in one of the slow movers. Just as I was about to change up the check out lane, something in me stopped. At the front, some alpha male dude was buying cheap white wine with his credit card. I mean, I couldn’t see the writing on the label, but the bottles were those twice-the-regular-sized ones, 1500ml maybe? …and they looked cheap. They probably were cheap. …and… he was the reason the line was at a standstill.

Stop here for a second.

I’m not one to boast, but I can size people up pretty fast, dudes more so than the ladies, just because the ladies are so complex (I love you ladies!), and dudes are well, dudes.

Back to the front.

So this guy wearing expensive shirt and jeans, but no style to speak of, with his big ole’ bottles and idiotic smile on his face signs for his with an over dramatic scribble and thinks that’s it, asta la vista liqour store! But wait! The clerk asked him for I.D.!!! Oh me oh my, was I soaking this one up! So dude, with a complete blank look on his face now, whips out his I.D. to prove he is who the name on the credit card says he is. The Clerk checks it out, for what seemed to be a half minute, and gives him the O.K.

What happens next, in typical obnoxious alpha man, passive aggressive fashion is, he mutters a few expletives at the clerk, but looking at me, not the clerk, and which no-one can really hear, but maybe the clerk… and leaves. I see him mouth *whatever* *whatever* (I’m sure you can guess what he really said) and his look to me was a look of someone asking for help.

So I see this go down, and I see him walk out, and I wonder what porche/bm/audi he is going to get into… and sure enough… it’s an audi, and he drives off. Man am I enjoying this! It’s not everyday that you see these obnoxious alpha males get served, and in typical fashion, their response to these types of situations was, shall we say,  less than heroic.

I must make the reader completely aware that I definitely have a chip on my shoulder about these type of guys, the charmers, the showmen, the nothing really under the hood men. I need substance from this world, and dudes who give the world none are wasting our air, and time. I’m not using the same brush for all alpha males, just these idiot ones (and they seem to be in abundence).

Money + Lack of love = Dellusions of power and respect.

I mean, if the dude couldn’t even see that the clerk was having some fun with him, then he most definitely is a grade “A” knuckle dragger.

When I got to the front, the clerk asked me if I had air miles. I said no, and he said he’d have to charge me an extra dollar!

I love this guy.

Clerks are cool.